Why? Why mom? Why? Mommy, why? Why? Why, Daddy? These are familiar words these days that are keeping us on our toes. It was like a little switch...E turns 3, and 24 hours later, everything is WHY. Will and I were talking last night I laughed so hard - he said he was having a conversation with E and he started the whys. Will said he had an answer...and by the 17th why, he had run out. He said, "He won." Will said it was like a competition, he was armed, and shot back answers to why until they hit the 17th why and Will said, "I was empty. I didn't have anymore!" I laughed and laughed. I guess I give up too easily, by the 4th WHY I usually say, "mmmm hhmmmm." and it ends there. Until the next topic and why.
I know I have been quiet this week. I haven't had a chance to catch my breath since getting back home and getting back into routine. I haven't had time to write like I wanted, and frankly, when the end of the day comes, I am just too tired and am going to bed. I have also been a bit more stressed this week. But as we end the week, we are in a much better place than when we started. I will get to that and offer my thoughts on what we have been going through this week.
But first, last week at church, I/we had our flip flops blessed right off. First it started with a great conversation with my good friend who is also a parent to two adopted children. She and I talked, and shared and probably could have kept talking all the way through the service! But she just seemed to know what to say at the right time and she offered me some great information. I had told her we had just come home from traveling for over a week and she asked me how we were doing and how E was doing. See, she knows first hand how travel (any place away from home) affects our kids. It is hard on them. As I said earlier, it upsets their world and all that they know. (I know that because when we were away from home I lost count on how many times E said to me, "I want to go home mommy.") So the hugs and information we exchanged was priceless.
Then on my way into church (Will had taken E to the nursery) a very, very, very good friend stopped me and we said hello and exchanged a long over-due hug. I love this woman beyond words. God brought us together in divine way, and I am blessed by her. She gave me a sweet book - I can write down all the funny things that E-man says and keep a record of the funnies. I love this!!! What a great idea! She also handed me a card. We didn't open the card until we got home. When we did, there is the sweetest of sweet notes written from her and her husband to us. And then there inside, a folded check. A gift. A gift for our family to help bring home our baby in Ethiopia. Tears just ran down my face. And Will's. We were humbled, in awe and just blessed beyond what any words can even begin to describe. The Lord has brought us together with this family in such a divine way. Really! We are blessed by them, and they are friends beyond friends. They are friends that are family. We love you, and thank you for the blessing!
What have I learned this week? A lot. More than I thought. Am I patiently waiting for our referral? You bet. I know God has a plan and He's still working. I know we have work to do right here at home. And all this work, better prepares us for what lies ahead. We will be better equipped for it having gone through it now. I have learned (again) that adopted children HAVE TO be treated differently than children who did not have a hard start. Do all adopted children have a hard start? I'd be kidding myself if I thought they all had an easy start. Adopted children are extra special. Our son had a rough start and that start began with those 9 months in the womb. Those nine months are what give children foundation. Good and bad. But the good thing is this - at young ages, children's brains are "plastic" and can be rewired and they can heal from that which hurts them. I learned that right now, where we are, consistency is key. Stability is key. The same hands that feed, need to be the same hands that bathe, play, put to bed and answer the call or screams in the middle of the night. Sleep is not easy at our house right now. We wake when E-man wakes. Put him back to bed. Repeat the cycle over and over all night long. God's mercies are new each morning too. God gives us his strength and he supplies our fuel each day when we feel like we should be on empty. (And a lot of coffee!) But right now, we are meeting the needs of a little boy who can't fully explain what is waking him up, what he is afraid of if anything, etc...but there is one thing he has said to me in the middle of the night as I lay him back down. He said, "mommy, don't leave me." And I lay right next to my son, our son, his head on my chest, listening to my heart beat; his heart rate slowing and soon in rhythm with mine.
Is there help? Yes! Did we talk to the pediatrician about it? Yes. Did she help? No. Did I reach out further? Yes. There happens to be an upcoming webinar on sleep that we are attending. I also made contact with a woman whom I look up to, value every word that she utters and who knows about adopted children inside and out. She gave me encouragement; offered help. We are blessed again beyond words.
Our greatest treasure here on earth is our children. E-man who is with us now, and our child(ren) we are waiting for. We love them beyond words. We will move mountains for them. We have been chosen by God to be family.
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