It's hard to update when there isn't anything happening and when there IS something happening... you can't write about it. So... here we go!
We feel like a yo yo. Our files are sent to the regional MOWA and appointments are set to discuss. The appointment doesn't happen because an official is not in the office that day. The following day... try again. This time, there isn't time to review the case but a quick glace and some corrections are noted that need to be made. Another appointment is set for later in the week to discuss the cases in detail. Surprise! that meeting didn't take place. The meeting finally does take place and some other corrections need to be made... you get the idea.
So... what can I say?
My jeans fit looser.
I realize sleep really is over-rated.
I am ready for this nightmare to end.
I am praying and clinging to the Lord....and giving thanks in all things.
I was tested too this week. I received an email from someone I do not know... someone who is exploring adoption and was ready to talk with families who have or who are in the process of adopting internationally. I had this conversation with God. I said, 'really God?' Are you serious? After the last hundred weeks, you throw this at me? At a time when I am empty... when I can't find peace for more than an hour... when my hope is shrinking??? Really?? Here is what the email said:
Hello. _______________ gave me a few contacts of people who are in the process of adopting internationally. My husband and I are looking to adopt sometime within the next year. We are at the point now where we would like to talk with people about the whole process and their experience and also start reading some suggestive materials as well. They also gave me your number but I thought we could chat through email first. What part of the process are you guys in right now? Where are you adopting from? Did you all adopt based on any preferences? How has the process been? Smooth or not so?
So... I really had to stop and pray about this. I didn't want to blow my testimony. There are times when I want to say it 'sucks the very life out of you', but that is only a tiny snapshot of the whole picture.
I wrote back. As I wrote back, I realized I didn't have to dig as deep as I thought would have to - to share the beauty and the ash of international adoption. I don't think I blew my testimony either. :) I will post my response - and I post it not as 'hey look at me' but in giving glory to an almighty God who is in charge of this. Who does call his children to care for the fatherless...and who has taught me a lot through this process.
I am happy to share whatever information and answer any questions you have. We have an almost 4 year old son whom we adopted domestically from birth, and we are in the process of adopting a 1 year old boy from Ethiopia. We have met him, and are in the tail end of the adoption, but caught in the middle of the current slowdown due to new procedures being implemented to ensure ethical adoptions in Ethiopia.
I will give you an idea in a rough outline of how our process has been, the current steps, where we are and what we have left.
We completed the formal application, home study, dossier, etc…
Our Dossier was sent to Ethiopia in September 2010
We waited and received our referral for a 7 month old boy on July 7, 2011
We were submitted to court, given a court date of Nov 25, 2011
We travelled to Ethiopia, met our son, went to court, found out about this new procedure, and are waiting for the additional paperwork to be completed before we will be issued the adoption decree.
Once we have the adoption decree, we will wait for his birth certificate and passport to be issued, once those are issued we will be submitted to the US Embassy, once the embassy has reviewed everything and everything is ok, we will be given an embassy date when we will travel back to Ethiopia, get our son, go to the embassy appointment where we will be given all of his paperwork to come back into the US as a US Citizen and then return home as a forever family.
Did we adopt based on any preference? No – the Lord chose Ethiopia for us. He planted a seed when we hosted some boys from the Daraja Children’s Choir of Africa. That was really the experience that opened our eyes and our hearts to Africa. God confirmed that Ethiopia was the country he chose for us. {We have quite a story here – we started with Ethiopia, Ethiopia had some changes to their program where they were requiring two trips, we didn’t think we would be able to afford Ethiopia now, so we changed to Domestic, but the Lord had a divine appointment with me and showed me 3 times in the same day that we were supposed to adopt from Ethiopia. He also had a divine appointment with my husband that money would not be an issue and that we are supposed to adopt from Ethiopia}
How has the process been? That is a great question. I will be honest with you. Adoption has a lot of ups and downs… and it can be full of challenges. It has been great at times. It has been hard at times – those hard times are right now. Having already adopted, it is completely different this time than with our son. Domestic and International adoption are similar, but very different. What I have learned through this, God is in control. Always. This is His plan. This is His story. He has just called us to walk it out.
Things change within the program and you really have to just go with it. The paperwork may seem endless – the dossier, though it is a huge piece of the adoption feels like an appendage and you guard it with your life, checking it and double checking it to make sure you have everything done correctly – and you are sooo excited when you mail it off because you know you are so much closer than you were to your child.
There is nothing like the moment when you get your referral. You finally see a face, and have a name for the child you have been praying for and you are so full of joy and love for this person you are anxious to meet. That moment is one I will treasure for the rest of my life. We shared the good news with our family and friends and everyone is excited for us. These days are so great – we put his picture on the refrigerator, showed him to our son, who is now soooo ready for his baby brother to come home, and we made him a part of our family immediately.
Then we anticipated our travel to meet him; we got all the necessary shots, planned out our packing list, started packing things…. And the day finally arrived when we travelled. It was a long flight – but we were so excited to meet our son. That is another moment I will never forget. When I saw him come down the stairs in the arms of our social worker, I melted. I was so in awe… here he is… I can touch him… I can smell him…. I can hold him… he is real. After months of looking at his picture, here he is in my arms. It was the most amazing moment.
We went to court and did our part – we did not get the adoption decree that day because there was a new requirement for additional paperwork. Had we not been caught in this, we would probably be home now with our son and have had a smooth, no issue adoption. But that isn’t our case. We traveled with families who, for them, that was the case. They had a seamless adoption and it was super smooth.
Even though our road has been anything but smooth, we are thankful. If it had been smooth, we probably wouldn’t have met the incredible families we have. We probably would have taken more things for granted. We have deepened our relationship with the Lord and with each other. We have had to rely fully on the Lord – for His strength, for His mercy, for His grace.
I hope this is helpful. I want to give you a real, raw side of adoption – it isn’t all roses. It is hard. I would encourage you to read and educate yourselves with the suggested materials that Bethany suggests. As an agency, Bethany is amazing. The teams are so ready and willing to answer our questions, walk with us, pray with us during every single step of this process. We feel very secure with them.
The big question – would we do this again? Would we adopt internationally again even though we have had this major delay? You bet. In a heartbeat. It is worth it…. It’s more than worth it.
I realized, there was therapy in writing that email and sharing our current testimony. I know there are soooo many things we wouldn't have, had we sailed through this adoption. We would not get to share our faith on so many levels. We wouldn't have raised as much awareness of the need and the plight of the orphan. We wouldn't have had the chance or time for people in our circle and community and church to fall in love with a little boy who is different than us. We wouldn't have built the strong relationships with other adoptive families that we have. We have been covered in prayer head to toe and all around by you, dear reader. Thank you. There are so many blessings in this dark wait... but as I recounted this process, I pushed back those clouds, one by one, and light was being revealed. And I thank God for all the blessings that he has given to us when we have needed it most.
We continue this journey... some days much, much harder than others... but we are praying... praying that those files are finally completed correctly and that the much needed letter will be written and our children set free. Tomorrow. Praying boldly that tomorrow is THE day.
We feel like a yo yo. Our files are sent to the regional MOWA and appointments are set to discuss. The appointment doesn't happen because an official is not in the office that day. The following day... try again. This time, there isn't time to review the case but a quick glace and some corrections are noted that need to be made. Another appointment is set for later in the week to discuss the cases in detail. Surprise! that meeting didn't take place. The meeting finally does take place and some other corrections need to be made... you get the idea.
So... what can I say?
My jeans fit looser.
I realize sleep really is over-rated.
I am ready for this nightmare to end.
I am praying and clinging to the Lord....and giving thanks in all things.
I was tested too this week. I received an email from someone I do not know... someone who is exploring adoption and was ready to talk with families who have or who are in the process of adopting internationally. I had this conversation with God. I said, 'really God?' Are you serious? After the last hundred weeks, you throw this at me? At a time when I am empty... when I can't find peace for more than an hour... when my hope is shrinking??? Really?? Here is what the email said:
Hello. _______________ gave me a few contacts of people who are in the process of adopting internationally. My husband and I are looking to adopt sometime within the next year. We are at the point now where we would like to talk with people about the whole process and their experience and also start reading some suggestive materials as well. They also gave me your number but I thought we could chat through email first. What part of the process are you guys in right now? Where are you adopting from? Did you all adopt based on any preferences? How has the process been? Smooth or not so?
So... I really had to stop and pray about this. I didn't want to blow my testimony. There are times when I want to say it 'sucks the very life out of you', but that is only a tiny snapshot of the whole picture.
I wrote back. As I wrote back, I realized I didn't have to dig as deep as I thought would have to - to share the beauty and the ash of international adoption. I don't think I blew my testimony either. :) I will post my response - and I post it not as 'hey look at me' but in giving glory to an almighty God who is in charge of this. Who does call his children to care for the fatherless...and who has taught me a lot through this process.
I am happy to share whatever information and answer any questions you have. We have an almost 4 year old son whom we adopted domestically from birth, and we are in the process of adopting a 1 year old boy from Ethiopia. We have met him, and are in the tail end of the adoption, but caught in the middle of the current slowdown due to new procedures being implemented to ensure ethical adoptions in Ethiopia.
I will give you an idea in a rough outline of how our process has been, the current steps, where we are and what we have left.
We completed the formal application, home study, dossier, etc…
Our Dossier was sent to Ethiopia in September 2010
We waited and received our referral for a 7 month old boy on July 7, 2011
We were submitted to court, given a court date of Nov 25, 2011
We travelled to Ethiopia, met our son, went to court, found out about this new procedure, and are waiting for the additional paperwork to be completed before we will be issued the adoption decree.
Once we have the adoption decree, we will wait for his birth certificate and passport to be issued, once those are issued we will be submitted to the US Embassy, once the embassy has reviewed everything and everything is ok, we will be given an embassy date when we will travel back to Ethiopia, get our son, go to the embassy appointment where we will be given all of his paperwork to come back into the US as a US Citizen and then return home as a forever family.
Did we adopt based on any preference? No – the Lord chose Ethiopia for us. He planted a seed when we hosted some boys from the Daraja Children’s Choir of Africa. That was really the experience that opened our eyes and our hearts to Africa. God confirmed that Ethiopia was the country he chose for us. {We have quite a story here – we started with Ethiopia, Ethiopia had some changes to their program where they were requiring two trips, we didn’t think we would be able to afford Ethiopia now, so we changed to Domestic, but the Lord had a divine appointment with me and showed me 3 times in the same day that we were supposed to adopt from Ethiopia. He also had a divine appointment with my husband that money would not be an issue and that we are supposed to adopt from Ethiopia}
How has the process been? That is a great question. I will be honest with you. Adoption has a lot of ups and downs… and it can be full of challenges. It has been great at times. It has been hard at times – those hard times are right now. Having already adopted, it is completely different this time than with our son. Domestic and International adoption are similar, but very different. What I have learned through this, God is in control. Always. This is His plan. This is His story. He has just called us to walk it out.
Things change within the program and you really have to just go with it. The paperwork may seem endless – the dossier, though it is a huge piece of the adoption feels like an appendage and you guard it with your life, checking it and double checking it to make sure you have everything done correctly – and you are sooo excited when you mail it off because you know you are so much closer than you were to your child.
There is nothing like the moment when you get your referral. You finally see a face, and have a name for the child you have been praying for and you are so full of joy and love for this person you are anxious to meet. That moment is one I will treasure for the rest of my life. We shared the good news with our family and friends and everyone is excited for us. These days are so great – we put his picture on the refrigerator, showed him to our son, who is now soooo ready for his baby brother to come home, and we made him a part of our family immediately.
Then we anticipated our travel to meet him; we got all the necessary shots, planned out our packing list, started packing things…. And the day finally arrived when we travelled. It was a long flight – but we were so excited to meet our son. That is another moment I will never forget. When I saw him come down the stairs in the arms of our social worker, I melted. I was so in awe… here he is… I can touch him… I can smell him…. I can hold him… he is real. After months of looking at his picture, here he is in my arms. It was the most amazing moment.
We went to court and did our part – we did not get the adoption decree that day because there was a new requirement for additional paperwork. Had we not been caught in this, we would probably be home now with our son and have had a smooth, no issue adoption. But that isn’t our case. We traveled with families who, for them, that was the case. They had a seamless adoption and it was super smooth.
Even though our road has been anything but smooth, we are thankful. If it had been smooth, we probably wouldn’t have met the incredible families we have. We probably would have taken more things for granted. We have deepened our relationship with the Lord and with each other. We have had to rely fully on the Lord – for His strength, for His mercy, for His grace.
I hope this is helpful. I want to give you a real, raw side of adoption – it isn’t all roses. It is hard. I would encourage you to read and educate yourselves with the suggested materials that Bethany suggests. As an agency, Bethany is amazing. The teams are so ready and willing to answer our questions, walk with us, pray with us during every single step of this process. We feel very secure with them.
The big question – would we do this again? Would we adopt internationally again even though we have had this major delay? You bet. In a heartbeat. It is worth it…. It’s more than worth it.
I realized, there was therapy in writing that email and sharing our current testimony. I know there are soooo many things we wouldn't have, had we sailed through this adoption. We would not get to share our faith on so many levels. We wouldn't have raised as much awareness of the need and the plight of the orphan. We wouldn't have had the chance or time for people in our circle and community and church to fall in love with a little boy who is different than us. We wouldn't have built the strong relationships with other adoptive families that we have. We have been covered in prayer head to toe and all around by you, dear reader. Thank you. There are so many blessings in this dark wait... but as I recounted this process, I pushed back those clouds, one by one, and light was being revealed. And I thank God for all the blessings that he has given to us when we have needed it most.
We continue this journey... some days much, much harder than others... but we are praying... praying that those files are finally completed correctly and that the much needed letter will be written and our children set free. Tomorrow. Praying boldly that tomorrow is THE day.
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