And we wait. Some more. We have been waiting for 'the letter from the South' to come to the Federal Court...where we were...on Nov 25...claiming Baby T as our own. Yet we are still waiting for the letter. And the what seemed so simple at the time has become more complex.
As with everything in this life, I am sure God has a purpose. I just fail to see it right now. I want to see it. I need to see it. I want to know why, on the day we go to court, the requirement changes for paperwork for the children from the South. I know why - the South is the area of Ethiopia that had all of the problems and where corruption was taking place. This is all for the good of the children and birth families - I know that. But that doesn't change the selfish feelings I have had of wanting to know our baby could have been home by the end of the year. Which was absolutely possible had we not hit this pothole.
Now...it would honestly take a MIRACLE. A miracle that God can do! I believe he can do it...but if it's his will...that I don't know. So we wait. And lean into the Lord. My prayer continues...it is repetitive, sounding the same every day, word for word. The nights have been hard - I don't sleep a whole lot, and when I am awake, I am praying. But the other night, it was different. I woke up so tired {we all have a cold and cough, and all I wanted was sleep}, and I just said, 'God, I can't do it. I don't know what to pray any more. I just want to sleep.' And I asked the Spirit to please, come, and intercede for me and pray what I am supposed to be praying. I love how merciful and full of grace God is. He showed me that grace and mercy and I fell back to sleep and slept contently the rest of the night.
We continue to pray and wait. This has been anything but easy. I am just being real and being honest. There is a saying that goes, Adoption is not for the faint of heart. I have to say that is so true. I have also heard that International Adoption is not for everyone. Again, I have to agree. I think we got spoiled with E-man's adoption being fairly simple, easy and quick. That was a great experience - and one that I am glad we had. I am not trying to discourage anyone from adopting or from adopting Internationally - just know that if you are weak, He will make you strong. This adoption has definitely impacted us. Our faith has been put to the test. And we continue to lean even further on the Lord. We cannot do anything - we have to put all of our faith and trust in the Mighty One who has called us to this journey. He is in this. He is in every detail, delay, and he has promised he will not fail us. He has given us moments with the preciousness that is His reward. And I hold onto those memories of those moments...waiting on the Lord to deliver his chosen one to us.
Do I believe there is spiritual warfare going on in this delay? You bet I do. Have we been praying for all strongholds to be cut free? Yes. Satan finds a lot of pleasure in this delay - and he tries {and has won several moments} to steal our joy. He doesn't want God's children in homes where they will be loved by families who love Jesus and will point these children to Jesus and the cross. Satan won't win this battle. The Lord is much stronger, full of promise and God wins. Satan knows this too - but we know he is trying his hardest to win and so we have to continue to pray...and stop Satan from robbing us of all joy.
I could not have written this post a few days ago. I was allowing Satan to rob me of all joy. But I have been surrounded by an amazing friend and family to whom I have poured out my aching heart to. God has used them in big ways. They have ministered to me, my heart, my soul - and I am filled with HOPE.
Big brother is eager for Baby T to come home too. We bought a 'new to us' stroller {the brand new one of these are close to a house payment so when I found a used one for a super deal, I snatched it up!} and he's rolling the stroller all over the house saying, 'I can push Baby T when we go for a walk mommy, watch!' And he says, 'We can put toys under here...{the basket thingy}' And then he ends with, 'Mom, we need to go get T...he needs to be here with us.'
Thank you for your prayers, love and support. We are hoping for some good news soon. And if there is something, some place we are supposed to be on Monday, Dec 12, please fill me in. I have had that date on my heart as an important date and I have NO CLUE what is going on that day and I'd hate to miss something important. I have checked my calendars and I don't have anything...but there is something happening that day so if you know, please fill me in! :)
As with everything in this life, I am sure God has a purpose. I just fail to see it right now. I want to see it. I need to see it. I want to know why, on the day we go to court, the requirement changes for paperwork for the children from the South. I know why - the South is the area of Ethiopia that had all of the problems and where corruption was taking place. This is all for the good of the children and birth families - I know that. But that doesn't change the selfish feelings I have had of wanting to know our baby could have been home by the end of the year. Which was absolutely possible had we not hit this pothole.
Now...it would honestly take a MIRACLE. A miracle that God can do! I believe he can do it...but if it's his will...that I don't know. So we wait. And lean into the Lord. My prayer continues...it is repetitive, sounding the same every day, word for word. The nights have been hard - I don't sleep a whole lot, and when I am awake, I am praying. But the other night, it was different. I woke up so tired {we all have a cold and cough, and all I wanted was sleep}, and I just said, 'God, I can't do it. I don't know what to pray any more. I just want to sleep.' And I asked the Spirit to please, come, and intercede for me and pray what I am supposed to be praying. I love how merciful and full of grace God is. He showed me that grace and mercy and I fell back to sleep and slept contently the rest of the night.
We continue to pray and wait. This has been anything but easy. I am just being real and being honest. There is a saying that goes, Adoption is not for the faint of heart. I have to say that is so true. I have also heard that International Adoption is not for everyone. Again, I have to agree. I think we got spoiled with E-man's adoption being fairly simple, easy and quick. That was a great experience - and one that I am glad we had. I am not trying to discourage anyone from adopting or from adopting Internationally - just know that if you are weak, He will make you strong. This adoption has definitely impacted us. Our faith has been put to the test. And we continue to lean even further on the Lord. We cannot do anything - we have to put all of our faith and trust in the Mighty One who has called us to this journey. He is in this. He is in every detail, delay, and he has promised he will not fail us. He has given us moments with the preciousness that is His reward. And I hold onto those memories of those moments...waiting on the Lord to deliver his chosen one to us.
Do I believe there is spiritual warfare going on in this delay? You bet I do. Have we been praying for all strongholds to be cut free? Yes. Satan finds a lot of pleasure in this delay - and he tries {and has won several moments} to steal our joy. He doesn't want God's children in homes where they will be loved by families who love Jesus and will point these children to Jesus and the cross. Satan won't win this battle. The Lord is much stronger, full of promise and God wins. Satan knows this too - but we know he is trying his hardest to win and so we have to continue to pray...and stop Satan from robbing us of all joy.
I could not have written this post a few days ago. I was allowing Satan to rob me of all joy. But I have been surrounded by an amazing friend and family to whom I have poured out my aching heart to. God has used them in big ways. They have ministered to me, my heart, my soul - and I am filled with HOPE.
Big brother is eager for Baby T to come home too. We bought a 'new to us' stroller {the brand new one of these are close to a house payment so when I found a used one for a super deal, I snatched it up!} and he's rolling the stroller all over the house saying, 'I can push Baby T when we go for a walk mommy, watch!' And he says, 'We can put toys under here...{the basket thingy}' And then he ends with, 'Mom, we need to go get T...he needs to be here with us.'
Thank you for your prayers, love and support. We are hoping for some good news soon. And if there is something, some place we are supposed to be on Monday, Dec 12, please fill me in. I have had that date on my heart as an important date and I have NO CLUE what is going on that day and I'd hate to miss something important. I have checked my calendars and I don't have anything...but there is something happening that day so if you know, please fill me in! :)
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