The day we got our referral for Baby T. Wow. That day, prayers were answered...God completed a family...it was a day that started out ordinary but soon became anything BUT ordinary. It was a Thursday. We do our normal routine...we get up, make breakfast, make coffee, Will goes off to work, E-man and I hang out while he eats, I read my daily devotion and take a quick check for emails.
We were running a little bit late this day, so our morning was quickly slipping away. I decided to log into our agency forum to just take a check at the 'waiting list'. (This is not an official waiting list...families voluntarily share their information and it by no means is all inclusive). As I looked at the list, I saw that there had been some referrals the day before! Two!!!! YAY!!!! This was exciting! I was so happy for those families...but I also felt discouraged and a little upset. I even sent Will and IM and said, 'remind me not to read the forum for a while again...I am so happy for two families who got their referral yesterday and their log in dates are before us and after us'. I was like - man, oh, man. I guess God still has something for us...but come on, God! Isn't it our time??
With that, E-man and I closed the computer and played and then went and got ready for the day. We took our time - he likes to sit on our bed and watch a movie while I take a shower. We finished watching the movie together before coming back downstairs. So we took our time....we weren't in any hurry to do our errands, so we just hung out together. I got a text on my phone from Will asking me what the dates are for Empowered to Connect conference that we are registered for. I opened the computer so I could log in and IM him...I also opened my emails and I saw a load of emails from our agency that we had messages in our portal. I figured there was either a glitch in the system with lots of duplicates or a separate message for each thing we just had updated (we had to update our home study, physicals, etc...).
So I answered Will with the dates, and then logged into the portal very casually. I started to read the titles of the things that were there...I scrolled down...kept reading...my heart started to pound...then tears started to flow...and I quickly logged out. I picked up the phone and dialed Will. It rang and rang and the tears kept flowing. I kept saying, 'Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!' over and over and over. I got his voice mail!!!! I hung up, and called back. He answered and I could hardly breathe...I was almost hyperventilating! I said, 'Honey! We got our referral!!" He couldn't understand a word I said and said, "Are you ok? Honey, take a breath and say it again...and if you can stop crying for a second, that would help." He had a chuckle at the end...but a nervous chuckle. So I told him again. He said, "I'm on my way home."
I gathered myself together, Ethan wondering what in the world was going on, asked if mommy was happy or sad to which I said I was sooooo happy. I said you have a sister or brother! He kinda got it, but kinda didn't. He kept playing and kept asking if I was happy. I called Will back and told him he didn't have to come home - he could log into the portal from work and we could look at everything together over the phone. He said, no...we are doing this as a family all together at home.
That was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Waiting for him to get home. I cleaned the kitchen, straightened the house, put everything away and wiped the counters just one more time. I think I even shut down the computer so I wouldn't be tempted to look at anything. I didn't even know if we have a boy or girl. I waited and then, we saw him pull into the driveway.
After some kisses and hugs, we sat down at the computer...all three of us. Will prayed before we logged into the portal. It was a beautiful prayer. And then we started at the top with the first document. It was medical information - we glanced at it, but we knew what we wanted to read {having already been familiar with how referrals look from the 3 previous ones} so we skipped ahead to check the other documents and looked for the details and the one with a picture. We found it. We started to read at the top. We knew we had a SON. How excited are we???
We never specified boy or girl...we said if we could have children naturally, we can't specify boy or girl - you get what God gives you. So we followed that here through adoption. Both adoptions. We never specified and the Lord has given us boys. Our hearts desire was a boy without a doubt. And God has given us that desire.
About an hour and half after we first realized we had received our referral, we got a call from our case worker. I saw it was her on the caller ID and I answered the phone, 'We are soooo excited!! We are looking at the information right now!!" She laughed and apologized...she said remember how we were talking about the new system and communication and we weren't sure how referrals were going to go - weather it would just be downloaded into our portal or if it was going to go through the local agency first? Well, this is how referrals are going to go! She just saw that we got our referral too so it was kind of a surprise to all of us!
We continued to read...we saw his picture. My heart melted. I fell in love again. But this time, there was a face to go with the child I have loved from the moment God planted the seed in my heart two years ago. This is the child that I am privilaged to call my son and I can now see his face. His dancing eyes...I can almost hear him laugh as I see the smile on his face.
On the road to our referral we met three other children along the way. Three others whom we thought could have been ours. But God had another plan for them and for us. We know the outcome of ours, we have been matched with our son. But we wondered about the other children. And then, God answers prayer....one at a time. I was reading on the forum and saw a family's video...in the video was the first child we were asked if we wanted to be considered for. He has a beautiful family and he is loved so much.
The second child...where we were down to one of two families being considered for this precious little one. I believe I ran across his family also reading on the forum. It looks as if they have just returned home. Their referral date is the day we got the news we were not chosen to be his family and his name is the same name as the child we had hoped was our son.
Two answered prayers. We are waiting on God to answer the third prayer and let us see the chosen family for the little girl in the referral we prayerfully had to decline. I know he will answer our prayer...he has answered the other prayers and those boys and those families are so happy. We are so happy for them!! What a blessing.
God has given us the desire of our heart. It's been and still continues to be a challenging journey. We still have a long road ahead of us...until we are all together. Here. Forever Family. We love you Baby T. We love you beyond what words can say. Soon...we will be there soon.
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