One Year Later...

Well...it's a year this month since our home study was done and approved.  A year ago. A year we have been waiting. In a way, it's gone REALLY fast.  In another way, my heart is heavy and sad.  We understand the wait. We understand that giving birth to an elephant happens a lot quicker than adopting. But that still doesn't make the pain of the wait any less.  And I don't think we would be human if we didn't get impatient with the wait at times.  What does sustain us?  The Lord.  His promises.  His gifts. His blessings.

Have you heard this song?  Blessings by Laura Story?  Even if you have, just take a few moments and listen to it again.  Let the lyrics resonate in your heart.  And then take a moment and just talk to God.



I cry every single time I hear this song.  And for some reason...it's a song I seem to be hearing frequently.  You know I don't believe in coincidences.  God is speaking...to me.  Though this wait is painful at times, it is a blessing. 

God has revealed himself to us and to just how this is a blessing.  We would be missing a lot of things and not addressing things with the little that needed to be addressed.  Perhaps the wait isn't for us....its for the little. To be better prepared...to be better equipped to deal with the change in his world that is about to happen. Sure we talk every single day about his sister/brother;  he even asked if we could go now and get him/her.  But he needs to be on solid ground. And we are one day closer to that solid ground.

We know God hasn't forgotten about us. He hasn't said, "crap! I forgot to put that family together today." Like I forget to call someone back who left me a message.  He knows what he's doing. He has the plan. His timing is perfect. It is definitely not our timing.  But he has lessons along the way - growth in faith, growth as parents, growth in how to parent children from "hard places". 

I can honestly say this, and Will is in agreement with me. We would not have been ready before now.  Sure we thought we were ready. But we were not ready.  We have had a lot of learning to do along the way and we had to meet the emerging needs of a little boy who I love so deeply, with all my heart, who's big brown eyes melt my heart, who's sweet kissable lips lock on top of mine for sloppy wet kisses...we could have missed that - we could have glossed over the healing that he needed and we would have done him an injustice.  But our merciful God, descended upon us, and filled us with knowledge, understanding, and tools to do what we need to do.  All the changes in the government, the slow down in processing Ethiopian adoptions, the increase in time of our wait - it's all part of the plan. And our family is better for that. It is a blessing. (I am writing this to also remind myself of these things for those days when I feel like I am stuck in the eternal waiting room.)

As I ponder all the paperwork and appointments that lie ahead of us as we update our home study, (the home study is only good for 1 year, then you have to update it), I have to remember that this too is part of the blessing while I grumble.  It is a pain, it costs more money, it takes up a lot of time...doctor's appointments, finger printing appointments, sheriff's office visit... get a babysitter so we can get this done... but it's part of the process. It's part of the journey. It's something a lot of people don't understand unless you have adopted.

God called us on this mission and journey. He didn't promise us it would be easy. It's hard. But it's worth it. Over and over and over it's worth it.

Can I ask a favor of you those of you out there who read this... would you please pray for us?  Just for sustenance, for peace, for hope. For God's will to be done.  Prayers for our little who is waiting for us on the other side of the world. Prayers for all the waiting children and families. 

Pray for blessings...however they come.